Lost

I wrote you a letter. Do you remember? It was four pages sealed tight inside a pale blue envelope. I remember crisply that I used my very best handwriting when I wrote out your name, and in the corner I placed a little bird stamp. It was quite adorable to me.
Nine days since you left, I wrote it out at my desk, it took me twenty two minutes to write. I licked the flip and shut it tight, sealing my thoughts and feelings inside. I skipped down the driveway and popped it in the mailbox and tilted up the metal flag and sat at my window waiting for the mail truck to pick it up.
And when it did, I resumed my life and ate an onion bagel and listened to my favorite jazz CDs on repeat. Sometimes I danced to them, if my mind wasn't so preoccupied. I'd dance and dance to all our favorite jazz CDs and imagine you reading my letter.
I waited for a reply and thought up things you'd say, I probably could have written it myself. I sat at my window and waited for the mail truck to come every morning and for the post man to tuck lovely letters into my mailbox. I'd retrieve the mail, skip up the walkway and open each and every letter and hope it was yours. None of them were, they were always bills and magazines and opened opportunities lying in my hands. I'd toss them in the trash, every last one, waiting for your letter to come.
As I waited for your reply, I'd fold the shirts you left behind and tidy up the kitchen and feed the birds in the park, just like you always did. I gave them your favorite kind of bread, because you left half a loaf! I don't particularly enjoy rye bread, but the ducks and squirrels and scurrying ants could not get enough.
I waited through winters and summers and springs and falls, watched the leaves drain of color and eventually fall to the ground and saw the flowers bloom and the rain pour. It was all very beautiful, you would've enjoyed watching it with me I suspect. Two robins made nests in our tree behind the mailbox, and they lay eggs overhead in their nest of sticks and pine. What happy birds they were.
I wrote you a letter. Do you remember? It must have got lost in the mail.